The Emancipation Of Defeat

We finished.

It’s hard to believe we’re
here, spent and chugging air, awaiting the judges’ decision. This film was a relationship, with all the ups, downs, hopes, love, dashed dreams, and arguments that are inextricable. There were pinnacles that left us high as a kite and feeling unstoppable with optimism and nadirs that felt like the third ring of Hell.

The self-empowerment was intoxicating. I cannot convey to you the spiritual achievement that my wife and I felt after making this movie. You cannot know Everest until you stand at the top. Likewise, we were unprepared for how dark and dismal the valleys would be. Or how many times it seemed like the heart monitor on this film was two beeps from stopping completely. But every time we thought it was over, the fire snuffed, there was still some small ember keeping it alive.

"I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion." ~ Jack Kerouac

It’s hard to remind yourself that the only reason we got anything on this movie was because We Didn’t Give Up. When everyone around us did, we kept pushing. And pushing. And pushing until we got what we wanted. And I guess that’s the lesson. Over the years I have seen a lot of mediocre talents succeed only because they were relentless. They kept going while the rest of us smarter people cut our losses and thought, “Enough of this bullshit.”

“Clocking The T” exists because
we willed it. And with every defeat we knew we were the only two people on the planet who could keep it going. Even if that meant that sometimes we had to go back to zero and start over. Sometimes it was about money but mostly it was about surviving. Making the Herculean effort to push the movie to the next marker and then re-assess our options again. And again. And again. Because art is hard. If it was easy everyone could do it. Most people can’t.

But we
did it.

And we’re proud of not only the achievement, but the end result. Even if nobody cares. We cared. And because of that we have more than a movie to show for it. Something inside us that was dormant before. Something that I can’t explain to you unless you’re standing on the summit with us. Something that makes us look down on the clouds below and wonder
why did we stay down there so long? Something that makes us look to the new cloud layer above and wonder what’s above there?


© Michael Thibault 2017, All Rights Reserved. May Not Be Printed, Published, Posted, Transferred, Or Duplicated Without Permission.